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tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  May 14, 2011 3:05am-4:00am EDT

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jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! [ cheers and applause ] hey, everybody. welcome to the show. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," you guys. happy friday! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. [ cheers and applause ] you guys -- tomorrow -- tomorrow is -- tomorrow is the kentucky derby, you guys. [ cheers ] yeah. i'm excited about this. last year i drank way too many mint juleps. i spent like 10 minutes screaming at all the horses going by. then my friend was like, "jimmy, that's a merry-go-round." [ laughter ] i'm like, "what? i got money on pink." [ laughter ] i heard that the racehorse uncle mo will not run in the kentucky derby tomorrow because he has low energy. no uncle mo. [ light laughter ] he was replaced by a horse with lots of energy, uncle sheen.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] duh. winning, placing and showing. [ laughter ] hey, happy mother's day to all the moms out there! [ cheers and applause ] i love you, mom! i love you, mom! [ applause ] well, listen to this. a new survey found that 16% percent of mothers want to be alone on mother's day. [ light laughter ] that's got to be -- that's gotta be -- watch it, mom. okay? got to be weird for those kids. "i made you a finger painting, mommy." aw, you shouldn't have -- bothered me. [ laughter ] shouldn't have bothered me. get outta here." this isn't good, you guys. a recent survey found only 7% of eighth graders can correctly name the three branches of government. that's ridiculous. everybody knows it's the legislative, the executive --
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[ light laughter ] the unemployment rate went up last month. [ laughter ] the unemployment rate went up last month for the first time since november, but on the bright side i hear a senior management position just opened up at al qaeda. so -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this sunday president obama will be doing an interview with "60 minutes." michelle obama will be doing an interview with "martha stewart." not to be outdone, joe biden will be doing an interview with a panda he made at build-a-bear workshop. [ laughter ] "yeah, i like chocolate." check this out. the niece of the founder of chef boyardee is releasing an italian cookbook. [ laughter ] it's nice, 'cause when you cook the meals, you're like, "ah, just like mom used to pour into a bowl." [ laughter ] that's right.
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a cookbook from the family of chef boyardee. every recipe begins with, "step one -- lower your expectations." [ laughter ] come on. ah, come on. [ cheers and applause ] it's some pretty tasty stuff. this is momma's beef-a-roni. the way mom used to make beef-a-roni. >> steve: oh my god. mama's spaghettios. >> jimmy: mama's spaghettios. >> steve: add sugar. >> jimmy: i love -- [ laughter ] i love spaghettios, man. is that chef boyardee? >> steve: is it? >> jimmy: spaghettios? >> qwestlove: no, that's franco-american. >> jimmy: that's franco-american, man. >> steve: which is odd, 'cause doesn't franco mean france? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: the frano-prussian -- >> jimmy: yeah, spaghettios. >> steve: a french and american company made spaghettios. not an italian. [ laughter ] it's not italio-american. >> jimmy: no, no. it's franco american. >> steve: go ahead with your show. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] you okay? i'm on the phone -- i'm on the phone. sorry. [ laughter ]
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did you hear about this, higgins? 85-year-old hugh hefner and his 25-year-old fiancée crystal harris have sent out the invitations for their june 18th wedding. that's right. yeah. she told the guests to wear white, but bring black, just in case. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] just to be careful. [ cheers and applause ] just in case. i'm not saying anything. that's right. hugh hefner and his fiancée sent out their wedding invitations. she's registered at crate and barrel, while he's registered at plot and casket. [ laughter ] now, i've never heard -- [ in unison ] i've never heard of that place. >> jimmy: me neither. and finally -- [ light laughter ] finally, i read that facebook and google are interested in a three-way venture with skype. or as nerds put it -- ♪ [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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jimmy: hey, before we get started, i'd want to remind everybody that next week will be bob marley week here at "late night." [ cheers and applause ] all next week -- we're going to have amazing musicians in our studio to perform some of bob marley's greatest songs in honor of the 30th anniversary of his last concert. great acts like chris cornell, lenny kravitz, jakob dylan, jennifer hudson, bob's son ziggy marley and even ms. lauryn hill, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. it's going to be a phenomenal week. great music and it all starts this monday. i can not wait for that. we have an awesome show tonight, though. she's on tv. she's on broadway. she does it all. the insanely talented actress, edie falco is here! [ cheers and applause ] one of our favorites. we love her over here. [ applause ] from the new york knickerbockers, all-star forward carmelo anthony is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] one of the great players, great dude. he's a stud.
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and i'll be cooking with my buddy, chef michael symon is on the show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] making some meatballs or something. [ cheers and applause ] hey, i should remind you guys, in stores may 23rd, pre-order for mom now. "thank you notes" our first book. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. [ applause ] coming out soon. very exciting. it's only a dozen bucks. go pick it up somewhere. amazon. where else do you find books? >> steve: salvation army. >> jimmy: salvation army. [ laughter ] garage sales, stuff like that. >> steve: garage sales. >> jimmy: you can find that. it's a good book. it's really fun. everyone loves it. it has a lot of words in it and everything. [ light laughter ] >> steve: people love words. >> jimmy: you guys, today's friday. that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. i check my inbox. return some emails. and of course, send out thank you notes. i was running a bit behind today, so i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool? do you mind? [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. james, can i get some thank you note music, please? ♪ james -- james -- james, focus
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up. [ laughter ] james -- focus up. ♪ unbelievable. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you -- mother's day, for being a great way to tell mom, you gave birth to me. you raised me. everything i am is because of you. now let me buy you some tulips and a quick brunch and we'll call it even. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you -- hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory to supermarket to my plate, and then breaking the moment i put something inside you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ♪
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thank you, kentucky derby horses for showing the people of kentucky something they only get to see once a year. full sets of teeth. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: what? what? >> jimmy: someone from kentucky wrote that joke. [ light laughter ] >> steve: great state. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, stuffed twice baked potato for being the most insulting way to cook a potato. first we're going to bake you. then we're going gut you. mash you all up and re-stuff you back into yourself then bake you again and then eat you. what are you going to do about it, potato? [ light laughter ] nothing. [ applause ] ♪ thank you -- boxer briefs, for
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being so comfortable and loose fitting while at the same time firmly supporting my -- [ various sound effects ] [ laughter ] what is going -- >> steve: what's going on in there? >> jimmy: i don't know what happened, man. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you -- flip-flops, for being dirty germ magnets people can strap on their disgusting little leg ends. cover your ground knobs, you filthy jerks. [ light laughter ] sorry about that. what is -- i don't know why that's going on. >> steve: so angry. >> jimmy: your ground knobs? >> steve: a lot of issues. >> jimmy: sorry about that.
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i don't know what that is. ♪ thank you -- guy at work walking down the hallway next to me at the exact same speed as me. [ laughter ] who didn't appreciate my, "hey, what if we held hands?" joke. [ laughter ] next time it won't be a joke. i'm just going to do it. [ laughter ] do i speed up? do i slow down? what -- >> steve: either one. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you -- tv dinners, or as i like to call you, edible depression. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ we met as soulmates [ light laughter ] ♪
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>> jimmy: thank you -- person who waits until the cashier has completely rung you up before you get out your wallet. "hey, buddy, let's go!" i'm at a dunkin' donuts buying a sausage wrapped in a pancake. time is not on my side. [ laughter ] i'll pay for it! [ applause ] i'll keep the damn --" >> steve: "it's on me. this one's on me." >> jimmy: "i'll pay for the damn sam." [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you -- my abs, for being like the lost city of atlantis. do they exist? maybe. i'm definitely not going to do the work needed to find out. [ light laughter ] very sad edition of thank you notes. ♪ thank you -- teenager in texas, who drove his date to the prom in the famous oscar mayer wienermobile. i bet that's not the only wiener he tried to drive home that
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night. [ laughter ] there you go, everybody. those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back with more "late night!" come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ my busy family, the family with thousands of odors. like boomer, our boxer. our leftovers... from last night. and then there's phil. oh phil. but for every odor, our new air wick odor detect uses the latest smart odor sensor technology. the first air freshener that detects thousands of odors then automatically releases a burst of freshness... that can keep up with this family, and yours. is the next featured $5 footlong of the month! with tasty chicken, sweet apples and crunch-tastic celery, it's a bushel full o' flavor,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for little j, the jockey mc. [ cheers and applause ] [ derby trumpet ] ♪ ♪ it's derby time and i'm having a blast talkin' mint juleps and big ol' hats ♪ ♪ i'm rolling on up to churchill downs 'cause it's time to kick off the triple crown ♪ ♪ well, they call me little j the jockey mc i'm the baddest dude in the kentucky derby ♪ ♪ i'm 4'3" and it's plain to see all the fine ladies want to get with me ♪ ♪ now let's hear some more straight from the horse's mouth i'm dialed in ♪ ♪ i'm the favorite to win
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so you better pick me if you're gamblin' i'm a real sure thing ♪ ♪ not a phony makin' sea biscuit look like my little pony everybody in the house ♪ ♪ just clap your hands for the horse they call mucho macho man i'm twelve-to-one ♪ ♪ and i'm good in the mud and after the race i'm going out to stud i'm fillin' up ♪ ♪ on oats and hay put your hooves in the air let me hear ya say naaaaaaaay you sound confident ♪ ♪ that's what i like but now it's time to let uncle mo on the mic they call me uncle mo ♪ ♪ not mr. ed you got a beef then ya gonna get a hoof to the head ♪ ♪ i'm the horse to beat i'm the horse to catch but at the last minute i'm known to scratch ♪ [ scratching ] >> scratch it up! scratch it up! [ cheering ] scratch it down! scratch it down! ♪ >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, give it up for soul horse number one, midnight interlude. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> aww, yeah. i'm midnight interlude.
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what's up, ladies? yeah, you know these other horses are fast. but me? [ laughs ] i like to take things slow. come on, jimmy, you know you wanna ride me. [ laughter ] 'cause i'm your stallion. i'm the steed you need. so climb onboard. grab hold of my mane, and whip me all the way to the finish line. [ whip sounds ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are we still talking about the race? [ laughter ] >> yeah. something like that. >> one, two, three! ♪ ♪ it's derby time and we're having a blast talkin' mint juleps and big ol' hats ♪ ♪ we're rolling on up to churchill downs because 'cause it's time to kick off the triple crown ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> yo, brooklyn! ♪ >> jimmy: happy kentucky derby, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] nutri-grain -- one good decision... can lead to another. ♪ ♪ with real fruit, more of the whole grains your body needs, and a good source of fiber. nutri-grain can help you eat better all day. i like to make roast beef and it leaves a lot of baked on grease. when i took the finish challenge i open the dishwasher, everything was very shiny. i used to use cascade now i use finish quantum.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a four-time emmy award-winning actress for her work on the legendary show "the sopranos" and her current new showtime series "nurse jackie." just this week she got her first tony nomination for her performance in the broadway play "the house of blue leaves." [ cheers and applause ] yeah, give it. she's awesome. please welcome the lovely, the talented edie falco, everybody!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look beautiful. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. we're such giant fans of you over here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we love you so much. congrats. >> thank you. >> jimmy: a tony nomination. >> it's my first one. it was very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: that's great. >> it's a big deal. >> jimmy: that's so cool. >> yeah it is. >> jimmy: "house of blue leaves." can you explain it to me? what is it? what is it about? >> well, gosh. how much time do we have? >> jimmy: is it deep? >> yeah, it's sort of intense. it's about a guy who wants to be a musician. i play his crazy wife and jennifer jason leigh is his crazy girlfriend and -- >> jimmy: and he is ben stiller. >> ben stiller, yeah. >> jimmy: how is he -- i mean, i know he's a great guy. >> he's great. you must know him. don't you funny guys hang out together? >> jimmy: yeah, we have a funny guy bar we all go to. [ laughter ] >> that's why he's always late. >> jimmy: yeah, he's always late. >> he's totally great. he's great and funny. >> jimmy: is he funny in this or dramatic in this? >> it's both. >> jimmy: it does both. >> yeah, he's funny in a dramatic way. >> jimmy: did you know -- this play's kind of been around? >> yeah.
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i saw it in 1986. i was in elementary school. totally kidding. [ laughter ] and i was so taken by it. i remember leaving the theater and thinking, "you know, if a bunch of actors can make me feel this way, then i want in. i definitely want in." so here it is, all these years later, and they call and ask me if i want to be in it. >> jimmy: and you're like, "oh my god, i always wanted to be in this." >> it's crazy. i was like, yeah, of course. i was very excited. i didn't know what they had offered me. i didn't know what part. >> jimmy: you're a new york actor, right? >> yes, i'm -- long island. moved here -- i don't know. a gazillion years ago and that's where i've been. >> jimmy: did you ever audition for broadway before? >> you know what? i was in high school i think. no, i was like -- junior high, and i saw an ad in a paper that said, "open call for "dreamgirls." i'm like, "ah, i'm a dreamy girl, i guess." [ light laughter ] i played hooky. it's not going to end well. >> jimmy: it's not gonna end well once you know what "dreamgirls" is. >> i didn't know. >> jimmy: i don't think they're gonna cast you at all. >> i didn't know. i went in. it was me and 9,000 700 foot tall gorgeous black women and me. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. "dreamgirls" is -- yeah. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: didn't go well. >> they told me to go home. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, not good. >> no, it's not good. >> jimmy: but did you have -- growing up in new york, did you have the struggling jobs? >> i had a million. >> jimmy: waiter? >> i waited almost everywhere in the city. >> jimmy: did you really? >> i did for like 15 years, yeah. >> jimmy: any favorite spots? >> no. [ laughter ] i have successfully forgotten all of them. >> jimmy: i could never do it. i couldn't do the waiter -- >> really? never? >> jimmy: yeah, i can't do it. no, i can't. 'cause i've seen people complain too much at restaurants. just being a -- >> the people that -- >> jimmy: patrons. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: the people, yeah. i'm always nice to my waiters and waitresses. i never complain. >> yeah, i am, too. >> jimmy: even when i had no money, i was like -- i always felt bad. that's a tough job. >> it's awful. >> jimmy: people complain, like, "i didn't get enough coffee here." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's like, "how much coffee do you need?" [ laughter ] >> yeah, that goes over well when you say that. [ talking over one another ] >> "what's the matter with you?" that's why i waitressed, actually. that was pretty much my attitude for all those years. >> jimmy: but what is this one
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here? you had an apartment story about you were cleaning the windows? >> yeah, i should have known better. i cleaned the windows on my apartment on 29th street, the address of which i could say but i won't. i cleaned the windows only to discover that the dirt was the only thing holding the glass in. seriously. [ laughter ] like -- [ ripping sounds ] it slides out of it's frame onto the awning of the deli below. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. >> seriously. i put in my time. it's okay that i got a tony nomination. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you did. >> i'm dealing with my guilt issues about having good things. >> jimmy: yeah. gosh, you're just amazing. you really are so talented. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: you got emmys for "sopranos" for drama and then emmys for "nurse jackie" for comedy. >> sure. >> jimmy: i think you're the only actress to get emmys for both categories. >> apparently. apparently. >> jimmy: congratulations. that's great. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> but i'm afraid of getting too many good things, and then, like, the hook comes.
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>> jimmy: no, no, no. >> then back to the restaurant. >> jimmy: do you like either one better? comedy or drama? >> no, i thought they were all drama. i don't know. i thought it was all dramedy comedy. i never know what i'm doing. i just read the lines and try to make them sound real. so if they're funny, great. if they're not -- so i don't really ever know according to categories what it is i'm doing actually. >> jimmy: yeah, but it's good. "nurse jackie" is back up again. it's like -- it's happening. it's a huge hit. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i read somewhere that you guys had a problem with putting on the rubber gloves or just the rubber gloves in general? >> oh, among other things, but yes. we tried to make the stuff look legitimate. we have people on set, nurses and such showing us how to make it look real. after a while i was like, "you know what? i can't do this." so we start -- now they just shoot me from here up. i'm going like this down here. i'm trying to make it look like i know what i'm doing. but at first, i really tried to do the stuff. it's too hard. it's too hard. >> jimmy: just putting them on? >> putting -- you have no idea. yes. putting the gloves on. it's a whole big -- >> jimmy: well, we're about to find out. >> oh, look what you have. [ laughter ] am i about to get fired from my day job?
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>> jimmy: no, not at all. but i would love to have a race with you and see who can put on latex gloves -- >> you're out of your league. i'm just sayin'. but go ahead. >> jimmy: really? >> sure. >> jimmy: are you going to kill me? >> i don't know. i hope. i better, let's just say. we gotta do two? >> jimmy: i think -- well, should i just do one? >> usually i'd start the scene with one on, so it's -- you know. >> jimmy: put one on now? >> put one on now, yeah. if we want the end result to be complete. [ light laughter ] take your time. >> jimmy: i have a feeling you're -- >> all right. >> jimmy: it's not quite on. this one. >> no. all right. >> jimmy: do they fit? one size fits all? >> one size fits me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you ever do that? >> not my -- >> jimmy: here we go. all right. so this is -- >> someone timing us? >> jimmy: no. but someone will be a clear winner i think. >> okay. exactly. >> jimmy: i just want to say before this starts, i really love you. [ laughter ] on your mark, get set -- go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> you know what that means? >> jimmy: doesn't count! >> you know what that means in finland? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i just offended a lot of people. >> you have no idea. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> you said you hate their cooking. >> jimmy: i want to show a clip of the great edie falco in "nurse jackie." here she is, everybody. please, don't yell at me. >> you're having a hard day. i can tell. you know what i think might help? >> ice cream? >> no. no, coop. not ice cream. how about a really interesting patient? >> how interesting? >> an iron worker. >> an indian? >> yes. >> how long is this coverage? what room is he in?
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>> he's in exam one. >> jimmy: there you go. see, you're taken care of. i love it. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, "nurse jackie" airs mondays at 10:00 p.m. on showtime, and "the house of blue leaves" is playing at the walter kerr theatre right here in new york city. the great edie falco, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with carmelo anthony! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ jimmy: tonight's next guest is an ncaa champion. he's been named to multiple nba all-star teams. he won a gold medal at the olympics with team usa. he recently returned home to new york city and led the knicks to the postseason for the first time in seven years. we love him here in new york. please welcome to the show carmelo anthony! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: carmelo. >> what's up, brother? >> jimmy: do you mind if i -- can i call you melo? >> please do. >> all right. good. >> please do. >> jimmy: yeah. i met you the other night at the -- at the met ball, which is the -- this unbelievable thing that takes place. that vogue puts on. and they have, like, a fashion night out at -- in the museum. >> yeah. everybody was there. >> jimmy: that was crazy. >> me and you was there, so -- >> jimmy: that's all that matters, right? that we were there. yeah, exactly. do you see -- it's hard to see everybody that was there, though. >> you couldn't see everybody, but the event was -- was great. >> jimmy: it was crazy, right? >> just being at that museum, just walking around, the way they set it up. you know, honoring alexander mcqueen. they don't get better than that. >> jimmy: i mean, that guy. it's just -- it's kind of a sad story, the ending of him. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but, god, he's amazing.
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>> tough story, man. tough story. >> jimmy: wild. but, anytime i can go to a museum and legally drink, i usually go. [ laughter ] i usually show up to those things. i've also -- i've been to a couple of the games. i saw the knicks/orlando game. >> i saw you. i saw you next to tracy, man. >> jimmy: i was sitting next to tracy morgan. he's -- >> he's funny. >> jimmy: he's crazy. >> crazy funny. >> jimmy: yeah. he's really funny. he was yelling. he was next to me, and he was yelling, riunite! riunite. [ laughter ] riunite. >> what was he saying, though? >> jimmy: i go -- i go, what are you yelling? what are you yelling? these people are trying to play basketball. you sound like a crazy -- he goes, riunite, they need to put him on ice! [ laughter ] what are you doing, man? he's crazy. i couldn't believe it. i was like -- i didn't get the reference at all. >> tracy -- tracy is hilarious. >> jimmy: does he just yell stuff at you all the time? >> i hear him sometimes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> if i, like, if i take the ball out right next to him. i take the ball out right next to him. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> melo, my man, melo my man. i got the arm sleeve on, brothers in -- you know --
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: who -- any other celebrities yell stuff out at you? >> nah. i really don't be hearing too much. when i go -- when i get on that court, i be -- you know -- blocking everything out. >> jimmy: you do? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: so, when people move those squiggly balloons, it doesn't bother you? >> no, not at all. not at all. i'm used to it. >> jimmy: it's almost silly to do, right? >> i'm used to it, though. >> jimmy: at this point, like, don't even swing the squiggly balloons. >> because it don't do nothing. >> jimmy: it doesn't do anything. you -- you're embarrassing yourself. >> exactly. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. but, thank you so much for coming to new york. oh, my gosh. >> i appreciate that. >> jimmy: i'm so happy. i mean, gosh. i mean, of course the playoffs didn't end well. but you came, and we got there. >> right. >> jimmy: it's just the fact that we were in the playoffs is exciting around here. >> well, we needed that. i think new york needed that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the organization definitely needed that. and you know new york fans could look forward to a lot of great years ahead of us. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and -- and there's -- [ applause ] you got to do some fun new york things, too. you got to be on "saturday night live." >> yeah, that was -- >> jimmy: that was you, right? wasn't it? >> no, that was carmella. >> jimmy: did i say -- i saw -- i saw a man with a woman's wig. >> sounds funny, man. >> jimmy: how do they -- how did they get to you do that? >> i was there for one skit.
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> i think it was the laser -- the laser cat skit. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, i went in there. lauren called me upstairs. i should have known it was a setup. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> they called me upstairs and they said, look before we actually want you to step outside the box. so, i'm like -- what we doing here? what's going on? talk to me. and he's like, listen, we got this skit we want to you do. we want you to be a female shot put. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're sitting there. you got your mustache and your beard. you know, yeah. >> you know, i'm trying to -- i'm trying to envision that. there's a female shot put, like, what that looked like. and they showed me pictures, like, back in the '80s. and you had, like, females -- like this and just frolic out there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was like, man, i didn't really -- i don't know if i want to do this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: please, don't make me do it. >> but, you know, it was "saturday night live." i was there. i had a great time, and i was like, forget it. we going to do it. >> jimmy: and then -- and then -- tom hanks ended up being in the skit. >> tom hanks came in the skit, and it was, you know -- it don't get better than that. then elton john was -- he was
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hosting it. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. >> so, i had a blast. >> jimmy: crazy. oh, it was crazy fun times. would you ever -- would you ever host the show? >> yeah, if he calls me back. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah, if he calls me back. >> jimmy: that would be great. >> i want to. >> jimmy: really? michael jordan has done it, i think. lebron. >> yep. >> jimmy: you got to do it. >> good company. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. good company. absolutely. yeah, you'd do great with that. look at these things. you've got -- you've been on the cover of almost every video game in the planet here. look at that. bang. and that one there. [ cheers and applause ] any favorites? >> um, i like -- i like the college one. >> jimmy: the college one? >> especially that year. because we had just won, you know, the national championship. i was on the cover with a college jersey. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> especially that year. >> jimmy: you like that one? >> you a big video game guy? >> jimmy: i love video games. >> what you play? >> jimmy: i play "risk." [ laughter ] something funny, but i do. no, but if i play -- i tried "call of duty." black ops -- i'm awful. i go, and i hide. [ laughter ] i play -- you go, you want to
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play, man? i go, you don't want to play, man. oh, let me play you online, and i go and i hide behind a box. and then people go around and they shoot each other and i get frightened, and i make my character go, please, don't hurt me. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i play -- i play online. >> jimmy: do you play online? >> i play online sometimes. >> jimmy: against strangers. >> against strangers. but sometimes i let them know that it's me, and they be talking so much strategy to me. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, i be having to cut the game. get my competitive spirit. [ laughter ] just start the game over. >> jimmy: you don't want to dump the xbox, yeah. >> i be having the headset on, and i be wanting to say something back, but -- >> jimmy: you can't. >> can't really. >> jimmy: yeah. you need a lot of endorsements. you got the carmelo anthony foundation. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is very good. you do a lot of cool stuff. >> we're doing something -- actually we're doing a very melo weekend in puerto rico. >> jimmy: a very melo weekend. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, that's cool. >> very melo weekend in puerto rico. i know it might not be so mellow down there, but -- >> jimmy: that's going to be fun, right? >> yeah, we'll have a golf tournament, a private party on the beach, casino royale night. >> jimmy: are you puerto rican? >> yes, half. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: you heard of mofongo? >> yes, of course. >> jimmy: yeah, that's good stuff. i like that.
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that's good stuff. i know it's almost mother's day. i just want to say that i saw this documentary about you on msg. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: they did a goo -- a nice thing about you. and man, oh, man, your mom is a cool lady. >> yeah, she just wake up and just smiles every day, and just -- she's excited. and we made it. you know? >> jimmy: yeah. well, you're from brooklyn, right? >> yeah, i was born in brooklyn. >> jimmy: born in brooklyn, and then -- your living area was just -- >> yeah, it was -- you know, it was tough. i had to get through it. you know. typical inner city, ghetto, hood. >> jimmy: also, nice -- you had other -- not just for family. you had other kids just living with you? >> yeah. i had kids. i had my cousins. you know, we was all the same age. about eight or nine. that was in a three bedroom apartment. so, it -- it was cool. it was -- right now, i think back -- i
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think back on that situation, and -- you know -- i actually went back a couple weeks ago. shot a commercial out there for boost mobile, and i actually went into my apartment and i was like, there was no way. >> jimmy: really? >> there's no -- no way that i lived in here with nine -- with eight, nine people. >> jimmy: it feels like you're different people, right? >> yeah, it feels like -- it's just small. just everybody was in there. >> jimmy: gosh. and then, what happened to you mom? just got out? she said -- >> because she had a dream. she had a dream. she thought she was doing good by moving me to baltimore. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but it was -- but it was obviously the other way around. >> jimmy: and then you ended up coming back to new york. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but she's - she's -- >> right now. >> jimmy: she's a good lady. >> yeah, she's a wonderful lady. man, i want to wish all the mothers out there happy mother's day. >> jimmy: happy mother's day to all the moms. [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey, when we come back, can you play a shoot off with me. do you mind? >> i don't mind. >> jimmy: all right, good. it will be fun. when we come back carmelo anthony and i will compete in a little -- a little three-point shoot out after the break. [ applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] this is lara. her morning begins with arthritis pain. that's a coffee and two pills. the afternoon tour begins with more pain and more pills. the evening guests arrive. back to sore knees. back to more pills. the day is done but hang on... her doctor recommended aleve. just 2 pills can keep arthritis pain away all day
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[ male announcer ] with greasy fast food, what are you really getting? lighten up with a subway orchard chicken salad sub, a refreshingly delicious part of a subway fresh fit meal. subway. eat fresh. that's why lysol does more with our new stainless look no-touch hand soap system. it fits any decor... and automatically dispenses the perfect amount of soap and kills 99.9% of bacteria. so you'll never touch a germy pump again. with the lysol no-touch hand soap system, healthy hands are automatic... all over your home. for healthy tips and more, visit lysol.com/ missionforhealth.
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♪ jimmy: hey, everybody. i'm hanging out with new york knicks superstar carmelo anthony. we're about to face off in a random object shooting contest. and the way that this game works, is that melo and i will take turns trying to shoot random objects on this table into that basketball hoop. we'll keep the score on the screen. the objects that we're shooting today are -- edible arrangement bouquet. [ laughter ] mannequin head, wearing nba headband. clear bowl full of super bouncy balls. [ laughter ] little baby wedding cakes. [ laughter ]
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and -- the money ball, the hand mixer with a long cord. [ laughter ] here we go. so since you're our guest -- you're the first knick to be on our show, by the way. we're honored. we're honored to have you on here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: good luck. [ applause ] i'll stand back here and you throw it there. >> i'm first? >> jimmy: yeah. of course, guest. you're my guest. good luck. ♪ you can go underhand. you can go overhand. whatever you feel like. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> do i win? >> jimmy: no, you don't win. it's not that easy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] yeah! ♪ yeah, you go. ♪ [ audience oohs ] ♪
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[ audience oohs ] >> one of these will go in. ♪ [ audience oohs ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: sorry. you think that would count. but it didn't, right? did it count? it did count. that counted. >> that counted? >> jimmy: did you say that counted? get that off there. i can't cheat. there you go. ♪ [ audience oohs ]
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♪ >> the money ball. [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: no, wait. you go ahead. you can beat me. you've got to get the money ball. ♪ you think that -- you could get the lead, but we'll see. [ drum roll ] [ cheers and applause ] unbelievable. unbelievable. ♪ i used to do that. all right, here we go. [ drum roll ] [ audience oohs ] yes! winner! [ cheers and applause ]
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my thanks to new york knicks' carmelo anthony right here! michael symon is on after this. here he is, hanging out in the bud light lime green room! bud light! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ jimmy: our next guest is a food network iron chef and owner of many celebrated restaurants. his book, "live to cook" is in stores right now. please welcome chef michael symon, everybody. [ cheers ] good to see you, man. >> good to see you too, man. >> jimmy: how are you, pal? >> fantastic. mother's day is around the corner. >> jimmy: yes. >> my mother's greek. >> jimmy: okay. >> so i'm making keftedes. which are greek meatballs for -- in honor of my mom. >> jimmy: i love meatballs. >> me too. >> jimmy: spaghetti and meatballs is my favorite thing. >> well we got to start off, jimmy, a little bit of ouzo. >> jimmy: just like mama used to do. >> just like my mama used to do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, do you want to crack that open? >> jimmy: yeah, what is -- now what is ouzo? >> ouzo is like an anise flavor to it, a little licorice flavor.
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>> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> oh, you know, since we've met a long time ago, i've been noticing that your hair since "late night" has become more and more fabulous. so i also brought you a gift to celebrate our birthday together. a comb and a pick, whatever you prefer. i'm a little jealous of your hair. >> jimmy: i don't use either because i have it. >> it's fantastic. >> jimmy: yeah. because i have it, probably. that's probably what you're jealous of. yeah. >> burn it. >> jimmy: i'll give you this pick. you can take the pick. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'll take the -- i'll take the comb. >> i have dreamed about having hair like that. >> jimmy: yeah, i know, yeah. never, never, never. all right, here we go. a little ouzo. >> little ouzo. there we go. >> jimmy: good right here, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: cheers, my man. good to see you. [ cheers ] >> whew. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: feels like those jelly beans that you don't eat. yeah. [ laughter ] wow. wow, wow, wow. >> all right, now for the good part. >> jimmy: there we go. yeah. >> so, we have some ground lamb here. good, like, about 25%, 30% fat in lamb, so they're going to be good and moist. >> jimmy: okay, good. lamb. >> lamb. i'm going to start zesting in there. little bit of lemon dust. >> jimmy: yep. watch your fingers. >> i'm a -- i'm a skilled -- i'm a trained professional. >> jimmy: gosh. >> and then, you start -- you put in the egg.
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>> jimmy: okay. >> and then the grated onion and garlic. this is some cinnamon. >> jimmy: this is grated onion and garlic? >> and garlic. >> jimmy: okay. >> cumin. >> jimmy: cumin in there. yeah. >> cumin. >> jimmy: cumin. >> coriander. >> jimmy: is this like rice pudding? what is this? >> no, don't take that out of the milk. you soak the bread and the milk. use your spoon. >> jimmy: all right, don't yell at me. >> i want you to get this. jimmy, now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: will you -- sorry. what? i'm sorry. >> i don't want you to mess up your nice suit. >> jimmy: i know. i have a nice suit, man. what are you doing there? >> a little bit of nutmeg. >> jimmy: oh, nutmeg. very good. okay, nutmeg. >> you like that? >> jimmy: yeah. do i put all these cubes in there? >> yeah, put them all in. >> jimmy: why do you soak them in milk? does it help -- >> it's going to help keep them moist and make the meatballs really light. >> jimmy: oh, i know you all have this place -- b-spot. >> b-spot. bourbon, beer, bratwurst, baloney, bourbon. >> jimmy: cut me in. let's do this. >> come on. what's the secret to an awesome burger? if someone's having a barbecue, and they're doing it up. they're making a burger. the one thing. >> one thing, you need 25% to 30% fat in a burger. >> jimmy: you need a little fat. >> lean burgers -- >> jimmy: please. like, don't even show up to my barbecue. >> yeah. no good. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, you -- you get in there. >> jimmy: get in there. yeah. >> get in there. start mixing it up. >> jimmy: thank you. >> and you have a towel here, and i already have some mixed.
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>> jimmy: well then why am i doing this? [ laughter ] why would you do this? why didn't you just bring that out and go, here's that mixed? >> i want you to feel the meat. you need to feel the love. >> jimmy: i felt the -- feel the love. michael symon, what's "the chew" all about? when is that happening? >> "the chew" starts -- "the chew" is in september. >> jimmy: it's like "the view." >> it's like "the view" with cooking. myself, mario batali. >> jimmy: oh, i love mario batali. >> he's a good man. carla hall. >> jimmy: serious? carla hall! she was on my top chefs! >> fantastic. daphane oz. >> jimmy: oh, dr. oz's daughter. yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, we know dr. oz. >> yep. >> jimmy: we're neighbors. am i done with this? >> you're good. yeah, you're good. >> jimmy: thank you. >> clean up. towel off. >> jimmy: ridiculous. towel off? now, what do you fry it in? what type of oil? >> this is just -- i like to just use -- i cook it in lard, usually, but a little olive oil will work good too. >> jimmy: what do you mean by lard? where would i find lard? >> lard. pork fat. >> jimmy: where would i find pork fat if i went to the grocery store? >> in the pork fat store. >> jimmy: i don't go to the pork fat store. where is that? >> go to italy. >> jimmy: go to italy. yeah, yeah, yeah. i guess we can do that. >> so, about the size of golf balls. >> jimmy: now, these have better be good because bring these to tina fey because she -- she loves the greek food. >> is she greek? >> jimmy: yeah. very greek. >> see. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> al right, these better -- this is my mom's recipe.
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they're going to be good. >> jimmy: she used to come. her mom used to bring just food for everybody, all the time. she's like, eat this. and i -- before i even would said, hi, mrs. fey, she'd shove a meatball in my mouth. >> well, that's good. i'm not going to have you clean up again. >> jimmy: very good. >> so, we put these in. they go about two minutes per side. >> jimmy: i'm assuming these are the done ones? >> these are the done ones. >> jimmy: there we go. let's just -- two minutes, deep fry like this? >> yeah, about 140 degrees in the middle. >> jimmy: so they're crispy on the outside. >> crispy on the outside. >> jimmy: you said you could have them cold, too, right? >> they're good at any temperature, and here's how my mom finishes them. a little bit of pulled -- like, torn mint. real fresh. some feta cheese. >> jimmy: see? come on. this guy is the greatest. can you beat him? michael symon, everybody! come on. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to edie falco, carmelo anthony! michael symon right here! [ cheers ] >> the best. >> jimmy: and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right over there. [ applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a great weekend! happy mother's day. bye-bye. [ cheers ] ♪
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